We Didn't Start The Fire!
by Nagi-Oki
Summary: I'm back and more inane than ever! Please enjoy this musical romp courtesy of Billy Joel, the Piano Man himself!


We Didn't Start The Fire  
  
By: Nagi-Oki  
  
Disclaimer: I own nutzzzink! The song's by Billy Joel. I own me though...wait let me check. (Checks the receit) Yep, I own me.  
  
Scene: Fred, Todd, Amara, and Evan are studying for a history test. In the school library after hours.  
  
Todd: Aw man, this bites...is it me or is this stuff HARD, yo...  
  
Amara: I'm from a country where fire is a luxury and electricity is noexistant, what's YOUR excuse.  
  
[Evan starts pounding his head against the book.]  
  
Evan: C'mon brain! Learn this crap!  
  
Fred: I already tried that, all you get is a headache.  
  
Amara: Well you know what Mr.McCoy said, we can't leave until we learn half this junk.  
  
[Evan gets up grabs his skateboard.]  
  
Evan: Nuts to this, I'm outta here.  
  
[Evan heads for a window.]  
  
Amara: Evan no! It's NOT worth it!  
  
Todd: Ah, let the bone head go, I wanna see how far he gets.  
  
Evan: I'm the master of my own destiny! And there are more important things I can do than study! I can work on curing world hunger!  
  
Todd: That's easy just put Freddy on a diet yo...  
  
[Fred baps Todd on the head lightly.]  
  
Evan: I could discover a new species of tapeworm...  
  
Fred: Been there, done that.  
  
Evan: Or I could perfect that 6-50 rail spiker I've been working on.  
  
[Evan walks off screen, a loud growl is heard and Evan waltzes back over to his open book.]  
  
Amara: Logan's guarding the windows huh...  
  
Evan: Ho-yea...  
  
[Suddenly the X-Men, New Recruits, Tabitha, Lance, Pietro, and Beast walk in carrying a few boxes.]  
  
Beast: Ok, Scott set up that map right here. Lance you can plug the boom box over there. Roberto becareful with those props.  
  
Evan: Can we go home now?  
  
[Beast turns to the four.]  
  
Beast: Only if you can tell me who George Washington Carver is.  
  
Todd: Pfff! That's EASY! He's the guy who chopped up George Washington!  
  
Fred: No stupid! He's the guy who made George Washington's wooden teeth!  
  
Amara: You're both wrong, it's the capital of the United States!  
  
Evan: ~Show me the way to go home...~  
  
[Beast looks at the students with disappointment.]  
  
Todd: We're NEVER gonna get outta here are we...?  
  
Lance: Not in THIS lifetime...  
  
Beast: I know history is an exceptionally hard subject, but then I remembered an old trick I used to help me remember my lessons.  
  
Fred: You beat up a smart kid for answers?  
  
Todd: You dressed a chimp up and had him take the test instead?  
  
Amara: You--  
  
Beast: Alrigfht already! Forget I asked...I used music and lyrics to help me remember. And since you're having trouble with history, we've put together a little production that may help you.  
  
Evan: Can we just skip it? Everytime I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain!  
  
Scott: Don't make us use the duct tape and Storm's S&M equipment.  
  
Todd: More than we needed to know!  
  
Fred: This oughta be good...  
  
Amara: What else do we have to lose...  
  
Lance: Everything's set Mr.McCoy...  
  
Beast: Thank you, ok Kurt, push play.  
  
[Kurt pushes the play button and a keyboard is being played as Beast extends a pointer and waits. Scott holds up a picture.]  
  
Scott:  
Harry Truman,   
  
[Kitty holds up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
Doris Day,  
  
[Jubilee points to China on a map and holds up a picture.]  
  
Jubilee:  
Red China,  
  
[Ray holds up a picture.]  
  
Ray:  
Johnnie Ray  
  
[Robetro points to the islands of the South Pacific on a map and holds up a picture.]  
  
Roberto:  
South Pacific,  
  
[Pietro holds up a picture.]  
  
Pietro:  
Walter Winchell,   
  
[Lance holds a bat and a baseball glove as Beast points to a picture.]  
  
Lance:  
Joe DiMaggio  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Joe McCarthy,  
  
[Sam stands behind a blown up cardboard cut out of Richard Nixon holding up his hands in the double V signs.]  
  
Sam:  
Richard Nixon,  
  
[Rahne holds up a model of a car.]  
  
Rahne:  
Studebaker,  
  
[Jamie holds up a mini-TV.]  
  
Jamie:  
Television  
  
[Kurt points to North Korea on a map while holding up a picture.]  
  
Kurt:  
North Korea,  
  
[Rogue holds up a picture and points to south Korea.]  
  
Rogue:  
South Korea,  
  
[Jean is standing over a vent holding down a white dress (Over her normal outfit).]  
  
Jean:  
Marilyn Monroe  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Rosenbergs,  
  
[Tabitha flings an energy bomb infront of a picture of an explosion.]  
  
Tabitha:  
H-bomb,  
  
[Scott holds up a picture.]  
  
Scott:  
Sugar Ray,  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Panmunjom  
  
[Roberto holds up a picture.]  
  
Roberto:  
Brando,  
  
[Pietro poses in front of a movie poster.]  
  
Pietro:  
"The King and I"  
  
[Rogue holds up a book.]  
  
Rogue:  
and "The Catcher in the Rye"  
  
[Sam pops up wearing an 'I like Ike' pin and holding up a picture.]  
  
Sam:  
Eisenhower,  
  
[Rahne holds up a huge anime needle.]  
  
Rahne:  
vaccine,  
  
[Jean is sitting on a chat holding a glittery sceptre and wearing a crown.]  
  
Jean:  
England's got a new queen  
  
[Kurt holds up a picture.]  
  
Kurt:  
Marciano,  
  
[Ray smiles pretending to play a little piano.]  
  
Ray:  
Liberace,  
  
[Jubilee holds up a picture and waves bye bye.]  
  
Jubilee:  
Santayana goodbye  
  
[Everyone gets together in a big kickline singing.]  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it  
  
[Lance holds up a picture.]  
  
Lance:  
Joseph Stalin,  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Malenkov,  
  
[Tabitha holds up two pictures.]  
  
Tabitha:  
Nasser  
  
[Jamie jumps up.]  
  
Jamie:  
And Prokofiev  
  
[Kitty holds up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
Rockefeller,  
  
[Scott holds up a picture.]  
  
Scott:  
Campanella,  
  
[Pietro blocks off Scott holding up a picture.]  
  
Pietro:  
Communist Bloc  
  
[Rahne holds up a picture.]  
  
Rahne:  
Roy Cohn,  
  
[Rogue holds up another picture.]  
  
Rogue:  
Juan Peron,  
  
[Roberto holds up a picture.]  
  
Roberto:  
Toscanini,  
  
[Tabitha holds up another picture.]  
  
Tabitha:  
Dacron  
  
[Jamie holds up a picture jumping up and down.]  
  
Jamie:  
Dien Bien Phu falls,  
  
[Lance holds up a clock.]  
  
Lance:  
"Rock Around the Clock"  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Einstein,  
  
[Sam holds up a picture and points to Lance.]  
  
Sam:  
James Dean,  
  
[Bobby tosses a ball up and catches it in a baseball glove.]  
  
Bobby:  
Brooklyn's got a winning team  
  
[Kurt puts on a coon skin cap.]  
  
Kurt:  
Davy Crockett,  
  
[Jean floats by in another green outfit.]  
  
Jean:  
Peter Pan,  
  
[Kitty dresses up like an Elvis impersonater.]  
  
Kitty:  
Elvis Presley,  
  
[Jubilee jumps out wearing a Micky Mouse ear hat. (EVIL!!!)]  
  
Jubilee:  
Disneyland  
  
[Ray holds up a picture.]  
  
Ray:  
Bardot,  
  
[Scott holds up a picture and points to the map.]  
  
Scott:  
Budapest,  
  
[Sam holds up a picture and points to the map.]  
  
Sam:  
Alabama,  
  
[Pietro hplds up a picture.]  
  
Pietro:  
Krushchev  
  
[Kitty puts on a crown holding up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
Princess Grace,  
  
[Tabitha holds up a picture.]  
  
Tabitha:  
"Peyton Place",  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Trouble in the Suez  
  
[Everyone dances in a line in synch with each other.]  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it  
  
[Lance points to the map and holds up a picture.]  
  
Lance:  
Little Rock,  
  
[Roberto holds up a picture.]  
  
Roberto:  
Pasternak,  
  
[Jamie holds up a pictire with a catcher's mit.]  
  
Jamie:  
Mickey Mantle,  
  
[Tabitha holds up a picture.]  
  
Tabitha:  
Kerouac  
  
[Ray holds up a model.]  
  
Ray:  
Sputnik,  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Chou En-Lai,  
  
[Rogue holds up a book.]  
  
Rogue:  
"Bridge on the River Kwai"  
  
[Jean holds up a picture.]  
  
Jean:  
Lebanon,  
  
[Jubilee holds up a picture.]  
  
Jubilee:  
Charlse de Gaulle,  
  
[Kurt swings a baseball bat.]  
  
Kurt:  
California baseball  
  
[Rahne holds up a picture.]  
  
Rahne:  
Starkweather,  
  
[Pietro holds up a picture.]  
  
Pietro:  
Homicide,  
  
[A bunch of Jamies hold up a picture bouncing around.]  
  
Jamie(s):  
Children of thalidomide  
  
[Lance hold up a guitar and a picture.]  
  
Lance:  
Buddy Holly,  
  
[Pietro holds up an Oscar infront of a movie poster.]  
  
Pietro:  
"Ben Hur",  
  
[Ray puts on a space helet and acts like a monkey.]  
  
Ray:  
Space monkey,  
  
[Roberto holds up a fake gun and is wearing a mafia costume.]  
  
Roberto:  
Mafia  
  
[Jubilee hula hoops.]  
  
Jubilee:  
Hula hoops,  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Castro,  
  
[Scott holds up a car model, then tosses it.]  
  
Scott:  
Edsel is a no-go  
  
[Kitty holds up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
U-2,  
  
[Rogue holds up a picture.]  
  
Rogue:  
Syngman Rhee,  
  
[Tabitha holds up a wad of cash.]  
  
Tabitha:  
Payola  
  
[Rahne jumps in with a picture.]  
  
Rahne:  
And Kennedy  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Chubby Checker,  
  
[Sam dresses up like Normal Bates and pretends to stab at Bobby.]  
  
Sam:  
"Psycho",  
  
[Jean holds up a picture.]  
  
Jean:  
Belgians in the Congo  
  
[Everyone joins hands and dances around the table.]  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it  
  
[Kurt holds up a picture.]  
  
Kurt:  
Hemingway,  
  
[Scott holds up a picture and a football.]  
  
Scott:  
Eichmann,  
  
[Rogue holds up a book.]  
  
Rogue:  
"Stranger in a Strange Land"  
  
[Pietro holds up a picture.]  
  
Pietro:  
Dylan,  
  
[Lance holds up a picture and pointed to the map.]  
  
Lance:  
Berlin,  
  
[Sam holds up a picture.]  
  
Sam:  
Bay of Pigs invasion  
  
[Roberto puts on an Arabian hat.]  
  
Roberto:  
"Lawrence of Arabia",  
  
[Kurt *BAMF*s in waving his Beatle albums.]  
  
Kurt:  
British Beatlemania  
  
[Kitty holds up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
Ole Miss,  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
John Glenn,  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Liston beats Patterson  
  
[Rahne puts on a pope hat and holds up a picture.]  
  
Rahne:  
Pope Paul,  
  
[Jamie holds up a picture.]  
  
Jamie:  
Malcolm X,  
  
Jean:  
British politician sex  
  
[Tabitha holds up a picture.]  
  
Tabitha:  
JFK,  
  
[Ray throws the picture away.]  
  
Ray:  
Blown away,  
  
Everyone:  
What else do I have to say  
  
[Everyone gets back in a line and dances again.]  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it  
  
Jubilee:  
Birth control,  
  
[Roberto holds up a picture.]  
  
Roberto:  
Ho Chi Minh,  
  
[Sam's back behind the cutout Richard Nixon waving his hands about.]  
  
Sam:  
Richard Nixon back again  
  
[Jamie jumps up.]  
  
Jamie:  
Moonshot,  
  
[Kurt holds up a picture.]  
  
Kurt:  
Woodstock,  
  
[Bobby holds up a picture.]  
  
Bobby:  
Watergate,  
  
[Lance jumps in pretending to play a guitar.]  
  
Lance:  
Punk rock  
  
Scott:  
Begin,  
  
[Jean holds up a picture.]  
  
Jean:  
Reagan,  
  
[Pietro holds up a picture and points to the map.]  
  
Pietro:  
Palestine,  
  
Beast:  
Terror on the airline  
  
[Ray holds up an Ayatollah @$$ahollah t-shirt.]  
  
Ray:  
Ayatollah's in Iran,  
  
[Rahne holds up a picture and points to the map.]  
  
Rahne:  
Russians in Afghanistan  
  
[Tabitha spins a wheel.]  
  
Tabitha:  
"Wheel of Fortune",  
  
[Kitty holds up a picture.]  
  
Kitty:  
Sally Ride,  
  
[Rogue takes the guitar from Lance.]  
  
Rogue:  
Heavy metal,  
  
Scott:  
Suicide  
  
Kurt:  
Foreign debts,  
  
Bobby:  
Homeless vets,  
  
Pietro:  
AIDS,  
  
Ray:  
Crack,  
  
[Beast holds up a picture.]  
  
Beast:  
Bernie Goetz  
  
[Jean holds up a picture.]  
  
Jean:  
Hypodermics on the shores,  
  
[Jubilee holds up a picture.]  
  
Jubilee:  
China's under martial law  
  
Lance:  
Rock and roller cola wars,  
  
Everyone:  
I can't take it anymore  
  
[Everyone starts dancing in synch again.]  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
Since the world's been turning  
We didn't start the fire  
No we didn't light it  
But we tried to fight it  
  
Everyone:  
We didn't start the fire  
But when we are gone  
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...  
  
[They keep singing not realizing that Evan, Amara, Fred, and Todd left dummies in their place. Only Logan was watching shaking his head as he eats some popcorn. In an ice cream parlor not too far away ther four contemplate tonight's events.]  
  
Evan: Idunno 'bou you guys, but we gotta put a stop to these musical fanfics...  
  
Todd: Yea, tonight's made the LEAST sense out of ALL of them.  
  
Fred: E-yup, why would we stay after school to study...and the four of us don't even get along that well in the first place.  
  
Amara: And why that particular song...We WERE STUDYING TRIG!  
  
[A cat-eared waitress with sandy blonde hair and glasses serves them ice cream.]  
  
Nagi-Oki: Ok, super gut burster WITH sprinkles, clownie cone with red hots, dragonfly ripple with extra crickets, and a super shake. Enjoy...  
  
[The four cheer and start eating their ice cream, after a minute they start talking again.]  
  
Evan: As I was sayin' I LOOOOOOVE them musical fanfics, they crack me up!  
  
Todd: Yea, this fic was great! I can't wait to do the next one!  
  
Fred: Uh huh, I hear that!  
  
Amara: I especially love Nagi-Oki fanfics, they're sooooo cute! Hey! Let's go hand dead animals from Amanda's roof!  
  
[The four rush off as the waitress grins with evil delight.]  
  
Nagi-Oki: Excellent...  
  
[The waitress walks off laughing maniacally not realizing Magneto, Sabretooth, and Mystique saw her. They eye their eye cream carefully. Magneto stands up.]  
  
Magneto: Um...check please? Table 10?  
  
The End...? Of this fic yes, but the war is far from over HM HM HM HMWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! 


End file.
